I came sooo close...

...to screwing up yesterday, just because I was down about varous things, but I'm really glad to say that I didn't. In fact, I ended the night by spending three hours in a local bakery/coffee shop and didn't even want anything, even though I had allotted myself the calories to have something small.

Which made me think a little bit. What, to me, is screwing up? I'd have to say binging - eating without control because the food is there, or in some cases, even when it's not there - I have been known to take a trip to the store intentionally to come home and sit and stuff my face. That's one thing that's really a big deal to me, because that's where I've always lost control before.

So yesterday when I was stomping around the kitchen, just looking at everything that was there, I took a deep breath and regained some control. In fact, I mentally shook myself - the point of eating too much because I didn't lose as much weight as I felt I should have and because I was in a terrible mood already began to seem absolutely absurd to me. What kind of idiot am I if I eat more because I didn't lose weight? What kind of insane logic is that?

So I wrote down my plan for the day, and I stuck to it, and even got some unplanned exercise in, and this morning I'm really glad I did, because now it's Sunday and because I've stuck to my plan all week, I get to have a bagel and cream cheese with a huge mug of coffee for breakfast, and I plan to do something yummy with the goat's cheese I've been saving for lunch. But mostly I'm glad I stuck to it because it means I know I can. And the next time I feel the need to lose control, I'll know I got through it once before, and maybe, just maybe it'll be easier.