Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

Usually I'm not one for New Years celebrations, but for some reason this year I'm happy about the idea of a fresh start - more to continue what I started and the hard work I've been doing since September.

I even have a New Years Resolution this year. I'm quite excited about it, because I've never really done that before, either.

It is:

Live in the moment.

Yup, that's it. The whole resolution in three words. To most people it sounds simple, but it's not something I'm good at doing. I'm always too worried about making things more perfect, or worrying about what's supposed to come next. In the past, I've ruined whole weekends over what might happen at work on Monday. I've ruined whole vacations worrying about feeling sad about having to leave. I've ruined birthdays by not enjoying what was going on, but worrying that I'm not making the day perfect enough.

I think that's half of what's made me so fat. I've not enjoyed what I've eaten because I've been more worried about what I'm going to eat next. I know people say half the joy is in anticipation, but for me the bit I have to work on is enjoying what I have. Instead of lying in bed worrying about what I have to do tomorrow or (my favorite) worrying about how tired I'm going to feel the next day because of the sleep I'm losing worrying about how tired I'm going to be, I've been trying to just enjoy the sensation of lying in a warm comfy bed. Instead of worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow, I have to learn to savor what's going on. I really think that if I can crack this, I'll have a lot easier time controlling my eating, as well as the rest of my life.

So that's the resolution.

Oh, and just for kicks I weighed myself to see what the damage is for these last few weeks. There is none. Well, there is none yet - I've given myself until the end of this weekend to do what I want, within reason. I was shocked, but thinking about it I've been moving a lot, and not eating quite as badly as I once would have. Sure I could have probably lost a few extra pounds in the last 10 days, but I didn't do any damage either. So I'm starting the new year with exactly 100 pounds to lose, having lost 23.5 - I wonder what next year's total will be? I'm excited to find out!

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