Monday, March 1, 2010

Let's try this again, and again.

So I'm a horrible person. It's been 20 days since I last blogged, and those 20 days were days I should have blogged more than any other time.

Things have fallen apart a little bit at the moment here. Starting school and dealing with schedules has been stressful, but even more stressful for Chris has been dealing with the notion that he's going to be the sole financial support for our family for a while. It's not like it's new - seeing as I haven't had a job in 18 months, but I think it's starting to sink in that if I'm at school full time, the best I can hope for is a weekend job somewhere.

Not to mention that our car gave up last week. Specifically it came to a halt about 20 minutes into my ride home from school in the nasty ice cold rain last Monday. In the middle of an intersection. Thankfully I had our AAA card (since I drove the really unreliable vehicle, I'm the one who gets to keep it in my purse) and I got it towed home. This time it was the alternator (which made it really scary when the car gave up in the middle of the intersection - I couldn't put the flashers on, I couldn't wind down the window to wave people past - nothing!). Since the transmission already needed rebuilding, and there was a slow coolant leak that no one could seem to track down, we decided that we may as well put the same money we'd put into fixing it into a new (to us) car. Unfortunately that money was all that was in our savings account. We're feeling a little vulnerable right now. Actually we're feeling a lot vulnerable right now, but the option was financing (and another monthly payment we can't afford if Chris gets laid off) or clearing the savings account.

So last week was spent at used car dealerships. Used car dealerships make me want to scratch my eyes out. Or at least someones eyes out. I told Chris going in that I wasn't going to say a word. I'm not a good deal maker when it comes to stuff like that, and I find draining our entire savings account in one go just too depressing for words. We eventually narrowed it down to two cars, a Pontiac Grand Am that we couldn't afford but really liked, and a mini van that we could afford, but heck - a mini van? We have one child. I really never imagined myself driving a mini van, but since it was the one we could actually afford (after Chris did his manly thing and bargained the price down by $1000), I'm now driving a mini van. I'm going to have to find some kids soccer club decals to go on it. Iz thinks it's awesome - we went from the three of us riding around on the front (only) seat of Chris' truck (because it was the only dependable car we had, and last week it was the only working car we had) to her having the choice of 5 seats.

So, my eating habits. Well, they haven't been good. At all. Although I've managed to only put on 5 pounds, I've totally got out of the habit of even attempting to eat properly. One thing I've noticed though is that my stomach is totally rebelling at all the crap food I've been eating. I've had horrible heartburn, stomach cramps, everything. Of course, it hasn't been enough to actually send me back to eating properly, but hey, at least my body recognises good food now.

So today I start again. I've packed my lunch, I've written a shopping list (to be done somewhere in between school and Brownies tonight) and I've decided that the stomach cramps, the feeling crappy and the weight really aren't worth it. Time to get back on track. Properly.

On the happy side of things, we took Iz snow tubing a few weeks ago. Actually, Chris had to persuade me that I wasn't too heavy to go snow tubing (and 20 pounds ago I probably would have been), but once I got there I had a blast. That was what really sealed the deal for me. If I want to keep having fun with Iz, I really have to lose some more weight. Of course, them the week from hell came along, so now I'm actually getting around to doing something about it.


Chibi said...

Sorry to hear about the car. :( Having to choose between another payment and emptying your savings account is NOT an easy decision to make - either option seems so scary. Glad to hear you found something else, even if it IS a mini van. ;)

Welcome back!

MargieAnne said...

Do trust your week is going a bit better. It's not easy to adjust to major changes in lifestyle especially when there is a financial cost. I think you are amazing. You've lost a substantial amount of weight going it alone and keeping track so you have a good foundation to build on.

Maybe that's another way to look at this. You are building yourself a new body step by step but what about building it up with beautiful habits as building blocks. Is that too hard to imagine ... could be a stretch if you think of bricks. I think a well designed building is a thing of beauty and that is certainly our goal .... beauty inside and out as we grow stronger mentally, spiritually and physically.

You've already got some good strong habits and going back to school is awesome. Look forward to your next post.